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Mother Veronica was in the midst of internal and external turbulence. God was her only support. She was deeply anxious about Sr. Elias' whereabouts and her wellbeing. She writes to Father Lazare, 'Oh, Father, if you only knew what a relentless battle the devil wages here! Truly it would be difficult to resist him without that confidence in God which always says, "Even if you kill me, Lord, I shall trust in you". It seems to me Jesus cannot resist this abandonment to his pity and mercy... All the more I cling to his heart. Again, she writes, "I cannot refrain from trusting in God with unlimited confidence". (Life in Letters p.459-60)

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Mother Veronica was always in search of truth and held on to it at all costs. She detested falsehood of any kind. She writes to Father Lazare, "God has impressed on my soul this love of truth, from my childhood and I feel that I love you because you love and sacrifice yourself for truth." She goes on "How many times Monsignor has reproached me for being too truthful and too frank. Well, Father, I honour and love truth and all those who love it." (Life in Letters p. 460-61)

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Mother Veronica shares with Father Lazare a special spiritual grace she received on 21 November, on the profession day of Mary of Jesus crucified, "I personally received a great and immense grace which I have been imploring for a long time and which I prize as the surest of all the graces accorded by God- a true and perfect contrition for my sins." (Life in Letters p. 462)

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Father Lazare was aware that Mary of Jesus Crucified was ill-treated and humiliated by Bishop Marie Ephrem just because, she had spoken the truth about the bishop and he couldn't accept it. He was upset and sent her back to France. Father Lazare who knew the circumstances in India says, "I shall defend her always. The more I apply myself to the notes I have taken, the more I am convinced she was on the right path. If they have not got rid of her, it is not due to them, they have done all they could to achieve this, But I am confident that God has protected her... and when Jesus protects something it is difficult for men to harm it." (Life in Letters p. 467)

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Mother Veronica to Sister Elias on July 20, 1872. She was aware of Sr. Elias' difficulty in writing all that was taking place in India as her letters were censored. Mother Veronica tells her, "I quite understand the state in which you are, but have patience. The light will dawn. You are in a grievous state of heart, out of which our Lord will bring you, purified, as gold in the crucible… God permits that no one should understand you. This is cruel - neither your confessor, nor the sisters nor the mothers have the key to your poor sore heart. Let Jesus have it and keep it for Jesus alone…Be, therefore, of good courage and take heart, dear child. The darkness of the night will pass and then joy cometh in the morning. Wait, wait patiently for him and he will give you your heart’s desire." (Life in Letters p. 472-73)

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Mother Veronica writes very consoling and encouraging letter to Sister Elias in her darkest hour of loneliness and misunderstanding, in the community, miles away from home country. In time of her adversity, Mother Veronica's advice to her: "Have patience, for our dear Lord will not permit you to live always in this way. He knows that you are called to the perfection of religious life and he will arrange all things. Only wait a while, do your duty with the children and occupy your time and be faithful to the grace which our Lord gives you; be obedient and very humble and let your strength be in silence and in hope, and you will see that your hope will not be deceived. (Life in Letters p. 473)

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The following is taken from Bishop Marie Ephrem's – excerpts of a report to the General Council for the Propagation of the Faith on 26 November, 1872. He highlights the presence and mission of the Apostolic Carmel. We come to know the strength of the AC community. He reports, "The third Order of teaching sisters who occupy themselves with great zeal and much dedication in the work of the Holy Childhood. They have three big establishments, one at Mangalore, one at Cannanore and the third is at Calicut. We have number of religious Tertiaries; there are 23, of whom a dozen are professed and 11 novices, most probably they are converts. There are more than 6 postulants. Of the 23 religious, only 3 are Europeans, the rest are indigenous, as also the postulants. (Life in Letters p. 487)

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In the above excerpts Bishop Marie Ephrem appreciates the quality of members of the Apostolic Carmelites in these words: "It is difficult to give you an idea of the fervor, the obedience, and the regularity of these dear children, and of their intelligence in practicing the religious life. Our mothers in the cloister marvel at their young novices and postulants and those of the Third Order are completely satisfactory." (Life in Letters p. 487)

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Even after the return of Sister Agnes, Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified and Father Lazare, to France, Mother Veronica continued to receive candidates at the Little Carmel, Bayonne, still hoping to go to India. However, 1873 she experienced another blow; Sister Agnes' nervous breakdown and return to the world. Secondly there came an order from Bishop La Croix that no more Carmelites of either order would thenceforth go to India. It certainly seemed total collapse of the order Mother Veronica founded. At the advice of everyone she disposed of the candidates and novices, closed down the Little Carmel on 10th Oct. 1873, and returned to Great Carmel. She was fifty years old then. (Life in Letters p. 488).

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Mother Veronica re-entered the Cloistered Carmel of Pau, made the novitiate for one year and was professed as a Cloistered Carmelite on 12 December, 1874. In 1875 a band of sisters from Pau set out for Bethlehem to establish a foundation there. Mother Veronica and Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified were part of that pioneering group. (Life in Letters p. 492)

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In India, after Bishop Marie Ephrem died, for three years there was no bishop; the Vicar General was acting, the Apostolic Carmel convents were all independent of one another, each one having , in addition to its own superior , a priest who was chaplain, manager and confessor and had too much say in convent affairs. The three sisters trained by Mother Veronica were not in the same convent. Given the mixture of congregations and the fact that priests tended to appropriate all the powers, the scene was set for pandemonium. Mother Veronica in the Carmel of Bethlehem probably knew nothing of what was taking place in India. She had no news of the Third Order Regular. Her responsibility for the order had ceased. It was for her now only to pray. (Life in Letters p. 493)

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For three years everything went well at the new foundation of Bethlehem. The sisters lived in peace and concord. Mary of Jesus died on 26 August 1878, and then it seemed that the hell was let loose in the convent. The whole community was thrown into turmoil and disorder. Mother Veronica was overtaken by a sudden and torturous scrupulosity and an intense spiritual darkness. She was one of those who, for whatever reason, were the worst victims. Mother Veronica had all her life prayed and striven to grow in humility and it seemed that now God was providing her with an abundance of the harshest humiliations. (Life in Letters p. 499,501)

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Mother Veronica writes a long letter to the Patriarch of Jerusalem on 10 June, 1880 describing the spiritual darkness she was going through. Very little of it is noted down here for us to understand the interior struggles she went through: "... I accused myself in all my confessions of committed sacrileges, and I wept. God knows that I have never intended profaning the sacraments. How wretched I was, and I received not a word of consolation from anyone. I was afraid of the good God – afraid of Jesus. I dare not pray. I was not able to. I believed I was in his disfavor. I asked for forgiveness and mercy, but I did not dare to say to the good God, 'I love you,' because I felt I was unworthy to love him. Yet, that was all that I desired." (Life in Letters p. 503)

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Mother Veronica in her interior darkness surrendered herself to the mercy and love of God and Mother Mary: "I cried to the blessed Virgin for mercy. I begged her to have pity on this poor soul who was her child.” She made this her constant prayer to Jesus: "Lord, once you loved me and I also loved you. I am sure about it, because you took the trouble like the Good Shepherd to come seeking one so long steeped in Protestantism. Oh, for mercy's sake, do not let this soul be lost, although it is so sinful and unworthy of your graces... have pity on my poor soul that hungers and thirsts for you... permit me to love you. I cannot live without loving you; my heart is made for you: it cannot exist without you." Mother Veronica guides us how to cling on to Jesus and Mary when we are faced with a similar state of the soul. (Life in Letters p. 503-4)

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The providence of God brought into Mother Veronica’s life a strong support and confidant in Patriarch of Jerusalem. He understood the state of her soul and stood by her during the most difficult years of her life in Bethlehem. He kept guiding and comforting; motivating and inspiring spiritually to hold on to her beloved Jesus. In her letter of November 10, 1882, she speaks of an interior voice twice, "Prepare yourself to suffer," and another time, "Be ready for suffering." She then prepared herself to face the wrath of her superior provided she spared the other members of the community. (Life in Letters p. 557)

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Mother Veronica always stood courageously for truth. She saw in her community Marie Joseph, a novice, suffering much, who was sorely tried with suffering and temptation. Mother Veronica offered all her sufferings for the sake of this novice, The Sister's ordeal ended and she made her profession. She was happy in her vocation. Mother Veronica says, "I do not know at all, that my miserable offering served any purpose." But she resolved only the will of God to be accomplished through her. (Life in Letters p. 557)

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There was regular correspondence between Mother Veronica and the Patriarch of Jerusalem her Superior, from 1880 to 1887. He was her beacon of light during her dark days. After nine long years of torture of every kind in the Carmel of Bethlehem, Mother Veronica finally asked the Patriarch's permission to go back to the Carmel of Pau for the peace of her soul- which he readily granted. She finally leaves with two other Sisters on 29 April 1887 to Carmel of Pau. (Life in Letters p. 557)

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On leaving Bethlehem, says, Mother Veronica, "I felt I had a mission in France, especially to support the cause and answer the need of keeping the memory of Saint, Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified." The last nineteen years which Mother Veronica spent at the Pau Carmel were peaceful. God seemed to be making up to her all the sufferings he had sent her up till now. She was welcomed warmly and felt the love of her sisters of Pau. Inwardly too she was at peace. (Life in Letters p. 563)

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On return to the Carmel of Pau initially, Mother Veronica was troubled as this Carmel was partially influenced by the reforms of Fr. Estrate which he had introduced in Bethlehem Carmel. Therefore, she desired to join a Carmelite community where the original rule given by St, Teresa was practiced. Fortunately, Monsignor Ducellier had stopped this pernicious movement. He ordered all the Carmel communities in his diocese to go back to their original observance. Thus, peace was restored in Pau community. She thus writes to Mgr. Fleury Hottot, Bishop of Bayonne, Monsignor, I am old, all that I desire at present is to die a good and holy death, as a daughter of the Church, like our Holy Mother Teresa, and like her, to be submissive to the order and to be helped like, by the same fathers who were also her sons." (Life in Letters p. 581)

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Physical weakness had already set in Mother Veronica. She writes to Father Lazare in February 1888; I would certainly like to forget my poor body here for latterly it has become burdensome. I can scarcely drag it any longer. I say often, how long must I tarry! When can I enter and see the face of God. Just that I have to see you before I depart." (Life in Letters p. 595)

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Once again after Lent in 1888 she writes, "I have abandoned myself totally to the holy will of God and I am so convinced that he directs all my concerns, that I do not have the least anxiety about the future. I do not want anything except what God desires. (Life in Letters p. 596)

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Mother veronica to Father Lazare from Carmel of Pau on Pentecost Tuesday 1888: "My soul feels so much the need of being helped and guided, that I do not wish to get into retreat before seeing you and confiding in you." She continues, "all that I desire is the will of God, and I have always noted that, just when my soul was actually in need, he sent me the angel whom he destined to guide and console me. I, therefore, wait his time in silence and in Hope." (Life in Letters p.600)

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Mother Veronica has some important matters to talk over with Father Lazar"; especially it seems to be about the cause of Mary of Jesus crucified. However, he has not been visiting her for a long time. He had spoken to her about some great suffering and humiliation which might befall on him. She is very concerned about him. She writes to him in January 1889: "I somehow feel you are now suffering, but although I am suffering with you, being your very faithful daughter, I also rejoice that God has found you worthy of suffering and of being humiliated for love of him." (Life in Letters p.612)

Deeds of Charity

Sister Veronica's life tells us, her daughters, that nursing the sick came spontaneously to her. The following lines from her autobiography prove her loving care to the rich and poor alike. She pens, "I pass over silently many other episodes in my life as a sister of charity which would be very interesting, but too long to relate. Suffice it to say that it was my happiness to look after the sick poor and rich, and God blesses those who do so with love." (Auto bio p.43)

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Mother Veronica's letters from Pau Carmel give us the understanding that spiritually she is making real progress and emotionally she is at peace. However, her physical stamina is yet to revive. After the Lenten fast of 1889 in her letter to Father Lazare she pens the following, "I feel extremely weak in body and soul. Lent has tired me very much, for I am only a poor old woman... However, the good Jesus gives me a great deal of patience, and above all, the grace to wish and desire only his holy will." (Life in Letters p.614)

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This is Mother Veronica's prayer of gratitude and confidence in the Lord in her moments of weariness, " Lord, you carried me on your shoulders right into your sheepfold, and from so far- well, would it not be more for your glory to complete the work which you have assuredly begun and lead this soul to a good end." (Life in Letters p.614).

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Mother Veronica's health was deteriorating. On September 20, 1889, she writes to Father Lazare, "I had seen the doctor who has compelled me to eat meat for the rest of my life!!!... When the poor old woman falls, it takes time for her to stand up again… it will be as God wills. To die of old age is, it seems a very sweet death. I do not know if I am nearing the bank of the dark river, where there is no boat to take you across and where I have only to stretch out my foot to find myself conveyed to the other side. I would indeed have liked to…but our heavenly Father will direct all that for the best and take me at a favourable time." (Life in Letters p.623)

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Bishop Pagani of Mangalore diocese visited Mother Veronica at the Carmel of Pau. She was exceedingly happy to receive the first hand news about her beloved daughters in India. She now writes to them on November 1890: "... I must tell you that your good bishop and father, is pleased and satisfied with you and with your manner of working for the glory of God and the good of souls in his diocese... respond to the affectionate interest your good bishop has for you all. Oh! Let me say, he knows each one by name and is interested in each." (Life in Letters p.625-26)

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Mother Veronica exhorts her daughters in India: "Be faithful, my dear children, and obedient to all the orders and desires of your good bishop and father, and the dear and kind Jesuit missionaries, who take such care of you, both in spiritual and temporal things; but also remember, you are Carmelites. Love our Lady of Mount Carmel, as your first and heavenly Mother, be proud to bear her name and wear her holy habit, and be sure she will not refuse to call you her children, and protect you in life and death." (Life in Letters p.626)

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Mother Veronica desired that her daughters in India remain faithful to their Carmeliteness. She had some fears and anxiety since they had come under episcopal jurisdiction of Jesuit bishops, would they allow the Apostolic Carmel houses to remain as Carmelites? Father Athanasius OCD clarifies her doubts and worries saying, "The trunk of the Carmelite Vine, which notwithstanding all her misfortune, is still fertile and full of life. A vine branch transplanted and separated from its Mother Trunk does not for this, cease to be a vine. A house of Carmelites because it passes under episcopal jurisdiction, does not cease to be Carmelite, and is sometimes even more faithful to the order." He reminds her that her daughters in India in all four houses should speak out plainly, that they are Carmelites under episcopal jurisdiction. (Life in Letters p.627-28)

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Father Athanasius OCD reiterates the fact that it is for Mother Veronica's daughters in India to show that “they are Carmelites and Teresians at heart, because they have no other origin and starting point than that branch of Carmel, reformed by St. Teresa.... it is for them to remember their origin, their first cradle, and all the care which has first been given to them by the order." (Life in Letters p.629)

The Exempelary Father

Sophie was born of Anglican parents. She was proud of her parents and thus describes their qualities: "My father although a protestant, was a man of great virtue... practicing conscientiously his religion, he prayed every day with his family and alone in his room... we saw and heard him pray aloud on his knees with joined hands – what is very rare among Protestants- he had a depth of humility which astonished me." She also states that he was a good father, a good husband, excessively charitable to the poor and good to the servants. He never failed in charity, even towards the people whom he had overwhelmed with kindness and who paid him with ingratitude, he did not want to talk against these persons. He had extreme delicacy in his speech; nothing unseemly could be said in his presence. Yet he was amiable, gay and of the best society, his conversations were fine, pleasant that no one could help loving and respecting him. Sophie imbibed many of her father's fine qualities. (Auto biography p.3-4)

The Fervent Mother

Mrs. Leeves was very devoted to her children. She never wanted to be separated from her daughters. She sacrificed herself to give them good education at home. Nothing was too much for her when it was a question of her children who it seemed ought to belong solely to her. She was charitable and loved the poor. (Auto- bio p.5-6)

Scripture a Lived Experince

Pastor Henry Daniel Leeves instilled in his children a deep love for the Word of God. He made them daily read a part of the Holy Gospel in their original Greek language and translate it into English. Sophie attributes the grace of being able to read the holy gospels in their original language was one of the greatest helps to her conversion to Catholicism. (Auto- bio p.6)

Sacrifice and Service

The Leeves family used to spend their summer in the cool of the village Castaniotisa, in North Euboea, opposite the Gulf of Salonika. The property was bought by Sophie's father. The Leeves children spent their holidays not only in simple amusements and recreations, but also in activities such as assembling children of the village for instruction, teaching, reading, writing and sewing. They prepared clothes for them from their pocket money every week given by their father for depriving themselves of sugar in tea. Sophie records, "My parents loved to show hospitality to all", she also speaks of the keen interest she showed to teach Greek grammar to the son of the village priest Pappa Sathi. This very child later became one of the assassins of her brother Henry Leeves. (Auto- bio p.6,7,8)

Deepening of Faith Formation

The Leeves children were brought up in the Anglican faith in the sentiments and doctrines of what was called the Low Church. At the seventeenth year Sophie received her first communion in England. She was confirmed in the Exeter Church by the bishop according to the Anglican rituals. While the family was in England they got acquainted with the High Church what was like later Puseyism. (Auto- bio p.9&10)

Grooming for Adulthood

While in London Sophie's mother began to acquaint her into London society which Sophie didn't enjoy much because of her ill health. However Mrs. Leeves also made her daughters join dancing as well as riding schools, to learn to ride well. Sophie writes, "This gave me much pleasure for I liked this exercise very much." (Auto- bio p.11)

Ethics and Culture

Sophie was nineteen when she returned to Athens in Greece where her father had built an Anglican church which was to be blessed. The house was always open to guests. At home she enjoyed the music. Mrs. Leeves took care to provide dresses with good taste taking care that vanity did not intrude in her children. Sophie states, "My father would not have permitted the least indecency for anything in the world." (Auto- bio p.13)

Sophie's Initial Aspiration

The occasion of the new church building brought visitors galore. Having a young girl in the house they began to speak of Sophie's marriage. Sophie was least inclined at his stage. She says, "As for me I did not listen to any of this, and did not want to listen to anything. I wept at first, saying I was too young to consider such proposals... my ideal was to become a minister's wife and apply myself to singing the offices of the church, teaching poor children and visiting and looking after the poor and the sick." MaryAnn for herself dreamed of marriage as what she called a marriage like St. Ethelreda, virgin wife of St. Edward King of England. (Auto- bio p.14)

Affectionate Bond

Mary Anne and Sophie were always united in the sweetest strong sisterly affection that they had nothing to hide from each other. Sophie says, "In our religious quest to find the truth we were perfectly in agreement." (Auto- bio p.15)

A Divine Experience

The consecration of the Anglican Church by Bishop Tomlinson, on Easter Sunday of 1840 brought extreme happiness to the family, writes Sophie. It was built by Mr. Leeves, her father the Anglican Pastor. On Easter Tuesday Sophie had an experience which made deep impression on her and she treasured this experience for years without disclosing it, for fear of losing the inner joy. Thus, she says, "It was very early in the morning; no one in the house had risen and even I was still in bed alone in my small room. Suddenly I was awakened by a sweet and clear voice that I heard with the ears of the soul as well as with those of the body. It said in English: "Peace I leave you, my peace I give unto you not as the world giveth give I unto you." She writes, "I opened my eyes and remained motionless to listen to the celestial harmony of this voice which seemed to die away in the distance." She is unable to express the effect it had on her soul. (Auto- bio p.15)

The First Fatal Blow

Mr. Leeves long desired to go on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. He undertook the journey taking Mary Ann, his second daughter with him. Before leaving, he entrusted Mrs. Leeves, to her daughter in these words: "Sophie I entrust your mother to you, take care of her and be her consolation." They were never to see him again for he fell ill and died of a fever at Beyrouth. Sophie regretfully acknowledges, "It was the first crisis that came to strike our family so happy and so united." (Auto- bio p.16 )

Drawn to the Catholic Church

Death of their dearly loved father brought many changes. The family seemed to be broken. They felt as if the cross began to settle down on their family. They left Athens. Shortly after, Sophie was engaged to a young English navy officer. Marriage was to take place two years later. The family went to Naples, here Henry her brother was to study the art of breeding silk worms. At first they lived in Portici. Here Sophie with her siblings, several times entered the Catholic churches. Sophie reminisces, "I fell on my knees and prayed, for it is there that I began to feel that there was something in the Catholic churches that we had not in the Protestant temples. My heart seemed empty and languishing after I know not what." (Auto- bio p.17).

Spiritual Hunger

God seems to be gradually choosing Sophie for himself: In Naples Sophie fell ill, suddenly seized with strong convulsions that it was believed to be an attack of epilepsy. Mrs. Leeves immediately sent her to England for a change. She spent some time with her fiance's parents. She met her fiancé again in his parents' house. Sophie says, "He was very good and I loved him very much, but I felt nonetheless in the depths of my heart that something was lacking to me. I searched for God and it seemed to me that I had a weight which I wished to be rid of." (Auto- bio p.18 )

Desire for Repentance

Sophie learnt from her sisters about Puseyite church and the minister Mr. Richards of Margaret Chapel. She along with her sisters desired to go for confession. When her turn came she writes, "I had so much good will to confess myself and to tell all my sins, that in spite of the shame that I felt in seeing myself opposite this stranger, I gave him the story of my life and of all that my conscience reproached me with... I believe that the good God had regard for my good faith, and the humiliation that I had imposed on myself, for from that moment I felt quite changed." (Auto- bio p.18 &19 )

Life of Simplicity

Sophie adopted a life of simplicity and detachment. She had no desire to wear beautiful dresses. All three Leeves sisters began to wear the dress of the devotees of the Puseyites church which was of stark simplicity, that their mother often reproached her daughters. They found great happiness in visiting the chapel twice a day which was far enough from the house. Thereafter they visited the poor of the parish entrusted them by priest. Sophie states, "A great change had taken place in my heart. It seemed the good God had removed the affection that I bore the young officer to whom I was affianced, and had taken my heart to himself." (Auto- bio p.19 )

Drawn to Religoius Life

Sophie aspired to be a religious: "It seemed God was calling me to be a religious and I did not love any creature anymore." She had heard of the Anglican Sisters of Mercy and she wished to be one. (Auto- bio p.20 )

Determination

Sophie was persistent in her decision. Finally with the guidance of her confessor she asked her fiancé to free her from the engagement so that she may have the "liberty only to belong fully to God." Although he was distressed, he did not wish to force her to be unhappy with him. Sophie was now happy that she could join the Puseyite Sisters. (Auto- bio p.20 )

Desire for Penance

The illness of Emilie her sister compelled them to leave England and go to a better climate. Mary Ann stayed on in Dr. Pusey's house, and the rest of the family proceeded to Malta. There were no Puseyites here. And Sophie was not permitted to visit Catholic churches. She was inclined to do much penance according to her understanding. She says, "I never went near the fire". Hearing the story of a catholic priest who wore a sharp-edged cross over his chest, she wanted to imitate him. She tells, "I thought of binding a small cross on my chest in order to make a wound on it with the point, and I tried a string around my waist as tight as possible so as to make it enter the flesh... I spent a very rigorous lent taking only a cup of tea at breakfast and for dinner at one o'clock nothing but macaroni and potatoes and finally another cup of tea with a little bread. I spent the whole of lent in this manner in spite of my mother's remonstrances." (Auto- bio p.20- 21)

Total Offering to God

At the end of the Lenten period Sophie fell ill. Some attributed it to the weakness caused by the severe Lenten fast; and others tormented her for breaking the marriage and causing unhappiness to the young officer. Whatever the reason, Sophie's desire for religious life intensified. She suffered much in body and soul. Finally, to put an end to all presumptions Sophie pens: "I knelt down in front of a small Crucified and made a vow of perpetual virginity." From that day her health improved. (Auto- bio p.22)

In Search of Truth

Meanwhile Catherine got married and MaryAnn returned from England imbued with the Puseyite doctrine. She had obtained permission from Dr. Pusey to visit Catholic churches. The two sisters began to profit much from their visits to make the stations and pray. It was difficult for them to find a minster to hear their confessions. Finally they found one; unfortunately this minister had no knowledge how to administer the sacrament of penance. All this was done secretly without their mother's knowledge. (Auto- bio p.23 )

Captivating Power

Mary Ann and Sophie were happy to visit the Cathedral of Valetta. Sophie says," I did not know that the blessed Sacrament was reserved in the Catholic churches, but an irresistible power drew me towards the chapel where Jesus lived in His tabernacle, and there, I fell on my knees at the silver railing which guarded the Treasure and I wept thinking of my sins... I spent hours there not knowing why. Later I knew it was Jesus the Good Shepherd who drew towards him his poor lamb that was still outside the fold." (Auto- bio p.23)

Real Hapiness

Sophie at this time was clear and firm in her decision to be a religious. The warship was anchored in Malta; she met for the last time the young officer whom she was affianced. She told him again that her happiness depended not on anyone or anything in the world. She said, "I wished to belong wholly to God and to become a religious and I bade him my last farewell. I was completely free." (Auto- bio p.23)

Works of Charity

God was preparing everything to open the doors of the Holy Church for Mary Ann and Sophie. They once again took up their old habits of visiting the poor. Mrs. Leeves, very charitable by nature, was happy that her daughters were engaged in such activities. They joined a society of ladies that comprised Catholics and Protestants whose aim was to give clothes to the poor. Mrs. Demech, a Catholic, was its President. (Auto- bio p.24)

Grace of Conversion

Sophie and Mary Ann kept on searching for truth. On a Sunday evening in the octave of Christmas in 1849, both the sisters without the knowledge of their mother met Padre Giuliani SJ in Mrs. Demech house. The priest spoke to them on the "Real Presence in the Eucharist", a topic dear to Sophie. She records that suddenly she felt a sort of upheaval in her whole being: "it seemed to me that my heart melted, liquefied, and leaning my head on my crossed arms on the table I began to sob irresistibly... I could answer nothing and continued to sob". The good priest then placed his hand on her arm and said, "Leave the poor child alone; it is the grace of God which has touched her heart". Sophie felt that the priest alone understood what was happening to her. (Auto- bio p.25 )

Sacrament of Reconcilation

On the eve of their Baptism, Fr. Seagrave was administering the sacrament of penance to Mary Ann and Sophie. When Sophie's turn came for confession, she could not continue further. She writes, "I felt faint." The priest then joining his hands on the penitent prayed to our Lady of Dolours at the foot of the Cross and made a touching prayer: "to have pity on this poor child who desired to enter the fold and become her child, and to obtain for her the strength to conquer obstacles and to show herself a mother to her." Sophie reminisces, "While he was praying, I felt courage and strength return to me. The devil was chased out!" then she confessed without any trouble. (Auto- bio p.29 )

Daughter of the Catholic Apostolic Church

On 2nd February, 1850, on the feast of the purification of the Most Holy Virgin, in the church of the Gesu, Father Seagrave SJ, gave the conditional baptism to Mary Ann and Sophie: "If you are not baptized, I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit... he also gave them the absolution freeing them from excommunication incurred by heresy. At that moment when the priest pronounced the words says Sophie; "I felt as if a weight was lifted from my soul. I was no longer a heretic, but a child of the Catholic, Apostolic and Roman Church." (Auto- bio p.31)

First Communion

Sophie describes her First Communion experience as 'The Good Shepherd' carrying them both- Mary Ann and she on his shoulders into his fold and putting the seal on their happiness by coming himself to dwell in them. Sophie cherishing the memory of those precious moments reiterates, "Oh my God! I had so many things to say to you that I think I said nothing. I had remained engulfed in silence but I felt that I possessed my God. I had everything, and the world was nothing to me anymore. (Auto- bio p.31)

Anchored in Faith

Sophie describes her interior joy while they were in Malta: "In spite of the domestic storms, I enjoyed a happiness which I had not known until then. My mind, and my heart were at peace. I felt that my anchor was cast on the firm rock of St. Peter. I had no shadow of doubt now." Sophie's greater joy was that after they made their retreat with Father Seagrave he permitted her daily to receive Holy Communion. (Auto bio p.34)

Lord to Thee I Offer all

Sophie desired to become a religious, yet felt the unworthiness of such a holy life. She sought advice from Father Seagrave in this matter. Sophie writes, "The good father answered me that not only could I think of it, but that I ought to think of it." This reply, "filled me with joy and from that moment all my aspirations were to become the Spouse of Jesus." (Auto bio p.34)

Solitude and Works of Mercy

Sophie and Mary Ann sometimes visited the Convent of St. Joseph of the Apparition. But she was not attracted to this religious Congregation. Sophie states, "I would rather have wished to become a sister of Mercy where there was enclosure, joined to exterior work, but there was none in Malta." They were confirmed by the Bishop of Malta. Sophie took the name Mary Sophie, and her Sister Mary Ann. A few days later they left Malta and set out for Greece. (Auto bio p.35)

Gift of Grace

In Greece, Mrs. Leeves family lived at Piraeus, close to the Catholic Church. It was served by Don Marino an excellent Syrotic priest who knew them before as the daughters of the chaplain of the English embassy. The priest was pleased to note that these two sisters filled with immense grace of God, which helped them bear the oppositions and the continual war with their mother on account of their religion. However she could not prevent them from going to church. (Auto bio p.35)

Reverence for the Blessed Sacrament

Mrs. Leeves' daughters were obliged to be present while the mother did the Bible reading, her explanation on the text she read, followed by abuses of the Church of Rome and Popes. Sophie, often horrified by her mother's attitude used to close her ears and quietly turn her attention at times to kneel down to say the rosary. Sometimes when the holy Viaticum was passing by to take to some sick person, they not daring to fall on their knees for fear that mother would make a scene, one of them would drop her thimble on the ground, or scissors or reel of thread and pretending to look for it they prostrated themselves under the table until Jesus had passed. (Auto bio p.35)

God paves the Way

Henry, their brother, who was living alone at Castaniotisa fell ill. Mrs. Leeves decided to be with her son. MaryAnn was down with fever. She couldn't take her daughters with her. So she made Sophie to request the sisters of St. Joseph of the Apparition at Syros if they could stay with them for few months paying their board like independent boarders. MaryAnn and Sophie were astonished at their mother taking such initiative. Sophie attributes this entire affair to divine providence: "Visibly it was God who compelled her... to place us in the religious house for which we had sighed so long. (Auto bio p.36)

Anguish and Pain

When all was set to go the Convent at Syros, Mrs. Leeves accompanied Sophie and Mary Ann as far as the seashore at Piraeus, where they had to take the steamer. Sophie laments, "Poor mother, my heart was wrung as we drew farther from the shore where we left her all alone." (Auto bio p.36)

Benevolence of God

The Sisters of St. Joseph received Sophie and Mary Ann with all affection and cordiality. Nine months had passed since they had been Catholics. The moment Mr. Hill left them at the convent, Sophie exceedingly happy, exclaimed, "Now we are with Catholics! I was with religious; I could practice my religion freely without that continual sort of persecution that we had to undergo in our house." (Auto bio p.37)

Ardent in Prayer

From the time they came to the Sisters of St. Joseph Sophie writes, "I devoted myself to prayer" No one had taught them any method as to how to pray and meditate Sophie's happiness was to receive communion every day and she lived on that joy. She says, "I did not even know what prayer was, or the interior life." (Auto bio p.37)

Prayer Experience

Sophie narrates of an interior experience she had at the Church of Sebastian on the feast of the Holy Innocents in 1850, a month and a half after her arrival at Syros: "I paid a visit to the Blessed Sacrament... and I begged Our Lord to make me know where He wanted me to be a religious, for that was all my ambition at the moment, when suddenly I heard this word pronounced clearly in my heart "Tomorrow." I had no knowledge of interior locutions and I was frightened, so clear and sudden was it." (Auto bio p.37)

Discernment

Sophie did not quite understand what this voice "Tomorrow" was all about. She wanted to give an account of the prayer experience to her confessor but could not, due to rain that day. She then gives an account how she went about: "I began to pray. I said the rosary begging the Blessed virgin to make know whence came that voice and what it meant, and then I heard the same voice said to me: "Tomorrow, I will tell you what I wish." (Auto bio p.37)

God's Revelation

Sophie waited eagerly that Jesus would make known his will for her. On the following day after communion, says Sophie, "It seemed to me that there was silence all within me, all my senses were recollected and the voice said to me:'I want you here' and I understood that Our Lord wanted me to be a religious of St. Joseph." Sophie had no attraction to this congregation, so with some astonishment again she sought clarity: "Lord do you wish that I remain here always?" She records, "I did not receive any direct answer to this question but it seemed to me as if Our Lord reproached me very gently for my curiosity and that I had to trust myself to him." Later she felt great desire to belong to God and become a Sister of St. Joseph. (Auto bio p.38)

Spiritual Guidance

Sophie gave a faithful account of prayer experience to her confessor who gave her the 'Life of St. Teresa and her other works. She tells the fruit of her prayer was "an insatiable desire to make penance, to suffer something for Jesus, which I had asked him with so much ardour that I almost, fell into a swoon sometimes. However I never did the smallest penance without the permission of my confessor who always moderated my demands for the discipline." (Auto bio p.38)

Religious Vocation

Sophie was filled with much fervour for God that she says, "I cared no longer for anything on earth." She continues, "All my ambition was to become a Sister of St. Joseph." Sophie wrote to her mother her intention of becoming a religious. Sophie relates how her mother responded to her letter that even on her death bed she would not wish to see Sophie in that costume and even spoke to her of maledictions" (Auto bio p.39)

Determination

Sophie increasingly desired for religious life. On 19 March 1851 Mary Ann and Sophie were admitted to Postulancy. Once again she asked from consent from the mother. She also reminded her that she could not prevent her from following her vocation since she was already 27 years old and God wanted her to be a religious and it was Him whom she ought to obey rather than her. Sophie says, "I put the whole affair to Him to reconcile and dispose of according to Him will." (Auto bio p.39)

Interior Joy

On the feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross on 14 September Sophie received the holy habit and took the name Sister Mary Veronica of the Passion. She had a special devotion to the Passion of Our Lord. She writes, "I cannot express the joy and the consolation with which I was filled this day of my taking the habit. I was in heaven rather than on earth." (Auto bio p.39)

Spiritual Gifts and Consolations

Father Faber a convert describes in his book "Growth in Holiness" chiefly of converts divine experiences. He writes that the first beginnings lasts only for a short time, the soul is overwhelmed with graces and favours like those of which one reads in the lives of saints – that this period is very short, that it passes and never returns – but that it is very real, for then one needs all these delicious dishes in order to entice the soul from the world, to launch it into the service of God and to fortify it for the second period of sufferings, aridity, dangers and sorrows which is much longer. Sister Veronica had begun to enjoy these gifts from the Lord. He strengthened her for her future mission. (Auto bio p.40)

Foretaste of the Heavenly Joy

Sister Veronica vividly describes her experience of the first few months: "I too was as if intoxicated with favours and celestial delights - I heard the music of the angels, I saw things that I would not know how to describe. Prayer was my delight. When the Blessed Sacrament was exposed I could not tear myself away from the church... on the feast of St. Peter I received an astonishing increase of faith... This happened to me several consecutive years after my conversion. I was as if drunk with faith that day." (Auto bio p.40)

Healing Ministry

Sister Veronica stayed for five years at Syra. She was then sent to Athens to make a new foundation. Here she was employed to take classes. Till that time the religious there were not given the care of the sick. Now God entrusts Sister Veronica with a new mission. As per the request of King's chief doctor, her superiors assigned her as sick - nurse to him in his dangerous illness - pneumonia. Sister Veronica recognized her special calling to the sick to whom she devoted herself day and night with an affection that God gave her and sustained in her the strength and the health to bear extreme fatigue in spite of my ordinarily weak health. (Auto bio p.41)

Spiritual Ministry

On several occasions, says Sister Veronica, the good God gave her the grace to prepare some sick people to receive the sacraments. She was mostly sent for the members of The Diplomatic Corps in Athens when they were ill to help them receive the sacraments, who would have died deprived of these blessings. (Auto bio p.41)

Nursing and Holistic Healing

Sister Veronica gives another incident of her ministry of healing with the French minister, Viscount de Serre, and his wife Princess Marie Cantacuzene, a Greek schismatic. When M. de Serre fell dangerously ill from dysentery, Sister Veronica was sent for to look after him. Until the age of 18 he had lived a devout life, but then bad company had perverted him, and for twenty years he lived without God, without any religion. He was impious. His wife was unhappy of his behavior, mocking at all holy things. He was in danger of dying. Sister Veronica says, "I watched over him every night... put round his neck a miraculous medal. One morning while I was arranging his bed, he said to me gently: Sister, I have not always been impious as you see me. Soon I am going to appear before God, and it is not like this that I wish to do so. I wish to confess myself." (Auto bio p.42)

Conversion

Sister Veronica was overwhelmed with joy. She asked M, de Serre's wife to arrange for a priest. He received all the sacraments. Mother Veronica states: "He died the death of the just. The crucifix in one hand and his wife's hand in the other, he exhorted her to leave the schism and to enter the bosom of the Catholic Church in order that they might be together again for all eternity, and five days after his death, his wife rejected the Greek schism and made her first Catholic Communion in the convent chapel." (Auto bio p.43)

Deeds of Charity

Sister Veronica's life tells us, her daughters, that nursing the sick came spontaneously to her. The following lines from her autobiography prove her loving care to the rich and poor alike. She pens, "I pass over silently many other episodes in my life as a sister of charity which would be very interesting, but too long to relate. Suffice it to say that it was my happiness to look after the sick poor and rich, and God blesses those who do so with love." (Auto bio p.43)

Struggles of Life

Initially just before and after her conversion and profession she was experiencing plenty of consolation in prayer. We listened to her saying: "Prayer was my delight." Now Sister Veronica enters what Father Faber calls it 'the second period'. Sometimes she tasted a little of that delight. Towards the year 1860, writes Sister Veronica, "I saw a cross which was going to fall on me." She was sent as superior to Piraeus with two other sisters, "There were no crosses wanting to me, for beginnings are always painful." (Auto bio p.43)

Providence of God

Although Mrs. Leeves lived in the same town as Sister Veronica did, until then she had never paid a visit to her daughter. It was Sister Veronica who went to meet her. Now that she was appointed superior of the house, her mother paid a visit to her at Piraeus. In her dire situation she experienced God's providence through the Admiral of the French Frigate which was stationed at Piraeus. Acknowledging the generosity of Admiral Baron de la Ronciere le Noury, and his wife, Sister Veronica writes: "I cannot pass over in silence all the kindness, the charity that I received for ourselves and for our orphans." He sent bread for her community daily, offered many other alms. Gradually they became her very devoted friends. (Auto bio p.44)

The Incredible Joy

In June 1860, Sister Veronica was transferred from Piraeus to Rome to their generalate house. Here she had the privilege of seeing Pope Pius IX, and receive his blessings. On June 20 and 21 the feast of St. Louis de Gonzaga, Pope's coronation day, Mother Emilie sent her to the Sistine Chapel for mass. Sister Veronica even after several years cherishes that experience: "Never will I forget the emotion, the intense joy, the immense gratitude which penetrated my soul at the sight of the well-loved Pontiff- Ruler. My God, I wept with love and could not stop... so many years I had been outside the fold, but now I had the unutterable joy of being his daughter, his child, daughter of the Holy, Catholic, Apostolic and Roman church... It is necessary to be a convert to understand them perfectly. " (Auto bio p.44)

Presented to the Pontiff

In another occasion when Pope Pius IX went to venerate the Chains of St. Peter at San Pietro in Vincoli Monsignor Talbot introduced Sister veronica to Pope. While Holy Father was departing from sacristy to where chains are kept, Monsignor Talbot took her by the arm and leading her into the middle in front of the Pontiff who was slowly going forward he said to him, "Here is an English convert!" Pius IX stopped, saying "Ah!" and she fell on her knees... She writes, "he gave me his august hand which I seized and covered with kisses; then prostrating myself I did the same to his venerable foot which I held in both hands. I no longer knew where I was, and when I came to myself, I was still on my knees in the same place. The procession had passed. (Auto bio p.45)

Blessing from the Pope Pius IX

I saw the Holy Father once more on 29 June at the Solemn Mass at St. Peters Vatican... I saw him and watched him... heard that voice, deep- tone, rich and melodious, sing the Mass at the altar... how beautiful it was! How divine! On the next day at 'St. Paul's outside the Walls' again I had the happiness of seeing the Holy Father and once more being introduced as a convert... while I was on my knees at Pope's feet in the sacristy of the Basilica he said to me: "Siate buona e santa" "Be good and holy." (Auto bio p.46)

Love for the Poor

Sister Veronica remained in Rome for almost six months. From here the superior general sent her to Tremorel, a village in Brittany. She served as Government Primary School teacher of a mixed school of the Parish. She had sixty boys and as many girls. She reminisces her experience with them in commendable words; "the purity of the customs, the simplicity and piety of these good people made the difficulty of teaching much less." She also says, "I was greatly attached to these dear good Bretons and their venerable rector or parish priest who was a true father to us. (Auto bio p.46)

Gifted with Nursing and Curative Care

In Brittany, besides teaching, Sister Veronica had to take the role of a nurse to look after all the sick of the parish and prepare medicines for them from their small pharmacy in such a way that she became almost a doctor and pharmacist to all those good people. "People thought that I had an extraordinary gift to treat them when they were ill, and God rewarded their faith and their trust by the cure of their illnesses." The cold and wet climatic condition did not suit her health. She often spit blood and felt much fatigue. She was transferred from Tremorel. (Auto bio p.46)

Fervour and Dedication

Arriving on the beach, "I prostrated myself and kissed the earth sanctified by the great Apostle of Indies", writes Mother Veronica. The one who knew a few words of English took her to a person (a mayor) who offered her watermelon and coconut juice which refreshed her a little from the suffocating heat. The same person took her back in his boat to Patimar where Father Clement and Sister were waiting impatiently. They set out for Cannanore to meet Father Marie Ephrem. Unfortunately at the port they came to know that the vessel taking Fr. Marie Ephrem just left for Mangalore that passed in front of them. (Autobiography pg.51)

Blessings of Community Life

A few days later when they arrived at Mangalore, Father Marie Ephrem was waiting for them on the shore with the small bullock cart, who took them to the convent of Sisters of St. Joseph who welcomed them affectionately. Mother Veronica says, " How happy I was to find myself again with my family." (Autobiography pg.52)

Offering

Mother Veronica decided to make a retreat under Father Marie Ephrem's guidance to prepare herself for the work God was going to entrust her at Calicut. She writes, "He ordered me to ask Our Lord for the cessation of a schism which was causing much sorrow to the missionaries and was a great scandal to the Christians." She states, " Recommending this affair to Our Lord, it seemed to me that during three nights I would have to suffer obsessions of the devil in order to obtain this grace. Father told me to offer myself for all that Our Lord wished or would permit." (Autobiography pg.52)

Mystical Grace

Mother Veronica went through three nights of struggle with the evil one, in suffering and prayer, an experience she is unable to describe; she was crushed and without strength in the morning to get up. The priest gave her the absolution that gave her the courage and the strength to fight again. Shortly after these struggles Mother Veronica narrates a special grace the Lord bestowed on her: "I was alone one day working and praying, for at that time I was very close to God, when suddenly I was drawn into a state of profound recollection and I saw the Most Blessed Virgin holding in her hand a ring which she offered to me on behalf of her divine Son. I answered her that I could not receive it without having asked permission because I had made a vow of poverty. This reply did not appear to offend her. On the contrary, she told me to ask permission and the next Friday, feast of the Seven Dolours, Jesus would come and give me this ring and make his espousals with my soul. Then everything disappeared." (Autobiography pg.53)

Mystical Experience

On the Friday following the feast of the Seven Dolours of the most holy Virgin, when at mass, soon after communion, Mother Veronica says, "I cannot relate what I saw and felt during Mass. I seemed to see Our Lord with his blessed Mother, Saint Teresa and St. Veronica. Our Lord held the ring in his hand and told me several things. Afterwards everything disappeared and I found the ring on the ring finger of my left hand... I related to Father Marie Ephrem all that had happened to me." (Autobiography pg.54)

New Foundation of Calicut

Mother Veronica prepared herself few the new mission of Calicut by taking some lessons in Malayalam from Father Marie Ephrem. A few weeks later, Bishop Michael Anthony OCD the Vicar of Mangalore who had gone to Calicut sent for Sister Veronica and Sister Marie Joseph to begin the foundation at Calicut. They were four religious and the numerous children belonging to Catholics, Protestants and Parsis, who followed catechism and came to the chapel like others. (Autobiography pg.54)

Initiation into the Thord Order of Mount Carmel

Mother Veronica once again was happy to be under the guidance of Father Marie Ephrem who was the parish priest of Calicut. At the end of her retreat on 25 March 1862 he had received her into the Third Order of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, and from that moment, says Mother Veronica, "I belonged to the Order." (Autobiography pg.54)

Joy in Service

Mother Veronica with deep satisfaction speaks of her missionary experience at Calicut: "I think that in all my life I have not tasted sweeter consolations than at Calicut. God was blessing our efforts... I loved all these dear Christians big and small as my children and they treated me as their mother. It was touching to see with what respect, with what deference they came to ask me for advice and obeyed like children. (Autobiography pg.56)

God's Calling

Mother Veronica relates of her spiritual experience. "For some time I had begun to suffer many things from the demons who, I suppose, saw that many souls were being snatched from them. At the time I often heard an interior voice which said to me: "I want you in Carmel." At first I understood nothing of this... But little by little the light seemed to enter into my heart and without knowing in any way how that ought to be accomplished, I attached myself to this thought as being the will of God." (Autobiography pg.57)

Guiding Star

Monsignor Howard, who was part of the Commission sent from Rome to settle the business of the schism, had come to Calicut to meet his friend Father Marie Ephrem. The priest advised Mother Veronica to speak to Monsignor Howard in confession of the interior voice and seek his counsel, which she did. "Since then, this excellent Prelate, having become a Cardinal, showed special interest in me and treated me with charity for which I could never be thankful enough." (Autobiography pg.58)

Carmelite Women Religious for Girl Education

The Carmelite Vicars Apostolic at Verapoly and Quilon also desired some religious for the education of the girls in their vicariates, and Father Marie Ephrem thought that if a regular Third Order Regular could be found, it would be a very useful thing for the Missions of the Carmelite Fathers. Mother Veronica notes: "But the difficulty was to detach myself from the congregation of the Sisters of St. Joseph." (Autobiography pg.58)

First Hurdle

In the meantime Mother Veronica received the transfer order from her Superior General to go to Rangoon in Burma as Superior." I set out therefore with some anguish of heart on my side and on that of all these dear Christians who accompanied me as far as the waterside to begin my journey of a thousand leagues further. (Autobiography pg.58)

God Walks the Way

In Rangoon the sisters were already engaged in a boarding school and an orphanage. Mother Veronica remained in Rangoon only a year and a half almost, for she had a very serious fall. The left foot was severely injured, and the doctors spoke of the necessity of an operation. They advised her to return to Europe as she was too weak. Towards the end of 1865 she returned to England completely shattered in health by the heat and the fatigue of taking classes. Despite all this, says Mother Veronica, "I thought always of my plan of being a Carmelite and little by little the good God prepared the way for me." (Autobiography pg.61)

God's Calling

The care given by Mrs. Leeves, to her daughter, Mother Veronica, and the rest taken, gradually restored her to good health. She was summoned by the Superior General to Rome. She met Father Marie Ephrem in Paris and discussed with him about her desire to enter Carmel. He believed in God's calling for her and the necessity of the Third Order Regular for their missions in India. Father General of the OCD also approved of the project. But "none of these fathers wanted to decide on my vocation, as prudence demanded." (Autobiography pg.62)

Dicernment

After Easter in 1866, Mother Veronica visited Monsignor Howard in Rome and met Father Marie Ephrem there. He told her that she ought to place herself under the guidance of Father de Villefort SJ, the ordinary confessor of the community of Sisters of St. Joseph. She was advised to tell Father de Villefort SJ everything, and abide by the decision he would make regarding her vocation to Carmel. Secondly, till the matter was decided, she was told not to have any connection with Father Marie Ephrem.(Autobiography pg.62)

Life of Prayer and Obedience

"I did what was ordered and above all I prayed much." says Mother Veronica during the period of testing her call to Carmel. "I gave a detailed account to Father de Villefort who for six months examined my vocation. Finally, he pronounced in favour of the Carmel. He died a fortnight later. Mother Veronica says, "In him, I lost a father, the support of my vocation, for Cardinal Barnabo and all my superiors were opposed to my entry into the Carmel." (Autobiography pg.62-63)

Pillar of Strength

In moments of uncertainties, God provided Mother Veronica with two Stalwarts. They were Monsignor Howard, who helped and gave her good advice, as well as Monsignor Talbot, the Pope's Chamberlain, who both spoke of her to the Congregation of the Bishops Regulars before whom her cause had been laid. The necessary papers were sent, but his eminence (Barnabo) did not wish to give them up. Mother Veronica writes, "When I went to him to plead my cause, to make my desires known to him, he invariably answered: 'God does not change, you are a sister of St. Joseph, stay there." (Autobiography pg.63)

God Leads the Way

Father Marie Ephrem desired to have a foundation of Carmelites of the Second Order as well as Tertiaries Regular in the Missions of India. He had spoken to Mother Elias, the Prioress of the Carmel of Pau. Mother Elias, the prioress, was happy to welcome Mother Veronica to her community to study her vocation and form her for the life of Carmel. (Autobiography pg.63)

Altered Signposts

Meanwhile, the Superior General who was on her visit from Rome to the Mother House of the Congregation, asked Mother Veronica to accompany her to Marseilles. Mother Veronica shared her anxieties to Monsignor Howard who in turn spoke to Monsignor Svegliati, the Secretary of the Congregations of the Bishops Regulars, who sent word to her to proceed without fear to France, as it would be easier for her to leave for Carmel from France than by remaining in Rome. (Autobiography pg.63-64)

Gratitude

Monsignor Howard gave her 500 Fr. For the expenses of the journey. He also gave her some breviaries and accompanied to the station. She writes, "How can O sufficiently show my gratitude to this excellent Prelate? Without his help I would never have been able to get out of the difficulties." He had much influence in Rome because of his noble family. (Autobiography pg.64)

Obstacles Galore

On Easter Saturday 1867, Mother Veronica, with the Superior General and her Second Assistant Mother Melanie, arrived in Marseilles. Sister Honorine, the novice mistress was ill and almost always in bed. Mother Veronica was told by her Superior General to meet Father Canon Olive, their community superior. He said to her, "Sister, you really wish to be a good religious and be obedient, don't you? "Yes Father,” she relied, not knowing what the matter was. "Well, sister, we want to entrust to you the care of the novitiate and to name you Mistress of the Novices." Mother Veronica writes, "I was astounded, for all my ambition was to become a novice myself and not Mistress." (Autobiography pg.65)

Rugged Path

Mother General spoke to Father Canon Olive about Mother Veronica's cause being in Rome before the Congregations of Bishops and Regulars in order to enter Carmel, and the priest replied, "this would be no obstacle. On the contrary, we would be very happy if a little of the spirit of Carmel could be inculcated into our Novitiate, that is to say, the spirit of prayer and mortification." (Autobiography pg.66)

Encounter with God's Elected Child

"What could I do, it was necessary for me to resign myself and bow my head" says Mother Veronica. On Easter Tuesday she was given the charge of the novitiate. The following day, Wednesday, writes Mother Veronica, "while entering the chapel I was stopped by a small Arab girl who said to me: "Mother I must do the washing today. Will you please give me some of the novices to help me because I am often ill on Thursdays and I would like to finish today?" (Autobiography pg.66)

Divine Inspiration

Mother Veronica related of her first encounter with Mary the Arab girl: "for a moment and in a flash an interior light made me perceive that this young girl participated in the Passion of Our Lord. I answered: 'Yes my child, go and begin and I shall send you some sisters to help you.' When I met Mother Honorine who was in bed, she asked me if I had seen Mary the Arab. 'Who is Mary the Arab?' I retorted." (Autobiography pg.67)

Prephetic Word

Mother Honorine related to Mother Veronica of an incident that took place on the day of their arrival from Rome. Mary the Arab had gone to her and said, "Mother, a sister has arrived with our Mother General, I like her very much and thou wilt see that she will be the novice mistress." "I do not think Sister Veronica will be named novice mistress". Replied Mother Honorine for she knew that Mother Veronica wanted to go to Carmel. "Thou wilt see" was her reply. (Autobiography pg.72)

Manifestation of God's Will

Mother Veronica faced many twists and turns, directions and oppositions in the process of discerning God's will for her. She says, "finally, Mother General had said to me: ‘We have put you to the proof in order to know the Will of God, but now that it is manifested, we have no more to do than to help you.' Father Olive also could not do otherwise than to approve. At least in theory." (Autobiography pg.73)

The Ardent Desire

"I prayed ardently that God manifest his will, for I still heard the same voice in the depths of my soul: 'I want you in Carmel.' I asked for light also and the necessary grace to guide this precious soul that had been entrusted to me (Mary the Arab). Oh! My God! How I felt my unworthiness before the sublime wonders that I saw taking place before my eyes and which I was called so to guide." (Autobiography pg.74)

Sufferings and Humilations - Mark of God's Gift

Mother Veronica had grown in devotion to her patroness, St. Veronica Giuliani, the stigmatist. She had read and re-read her life and understood how much her superiors had put her to the proof. She was guided by the Spirit through obedience and humiliations. That was the touchstone of God's gifts. "I saw that humiliations of all kinds had not been wanting to my little Mary and that she accepted and bore everything with virtue, proof against everything. I humiliated her therefore, always much more than the others, while keeping her near me and protecting her against those who regarded her unfavorably." (Autobiography pg.74)

Courage and Determination

Mother Veronica had always enjoyed Mother Melanie's motherly love and friendship while in Rome as in Marseilles. She loved her tenderly, and she was the only one to whom Mother Veronica had spoken of her vocation to the Carmel. She said to her, "Mother, the moment has come for me to accomplish God's will I am going to leave for Carmel." Being so stunned, she begged her to wait for the return of the Superior General. Mother Veronica writes, "My heart ached, but my courage and my resolution were unshakable." She said, 'Mother, nothing can stop me, God wishes it. He will provide for these dear children, but I must go where he calls me." (Autobiography pg.79)

Clothed as a Carmelite

On the following day of their arrival in Carmel, on the feast of the Most Holy Trinity, Mother Veronica was clothed as a Carmelite. Mary the Arab was given a new name Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified, and the black postulant's dress. She was delighted to find herself among these holy religious. Mother Veronica pens: "Mary was in her element. I was like her. All that we heard was delicious to us." ( Auto bio p.82)

Mother Elias The Novice Mistress

Mother Elias was the novice mistress of Mother Veronica. Describing her virtues she writes: "What a mother, what a mistress, was this incomparable Mother Elias!" Monsignor La Croix called her "Holy Mother Elias". She possessed not only all the virtues but also all the qualities required to make a person perfect. She had a distinguished education together with an intelligent, above the ordinary. ( Auto bio p.83)

Mother Elias - A Gifted Prioress

Mother Veronica greatly admired her prioress and novice mistress Mother Elias, and her human and spiritual gifts. She speaks of her as having even dispositions in all circumstances, gentleness, inalterable patience joined to a firmness, which did not come in the way of her kindness and maternal tenderness. She was one of those rare persons whom authority does not deteriorate, whom being in charge do not hurt, and so few of this stamp. She seemed made to govern. ( Auto bio p.83)

Mother Elias - An Inspiration

Mother Veronica while appreciating the personality of Mother Elias comments: "God had adorned her with all the gifts, and the virtues she had acquired by struggling against her lively and ardent nature, stood out". She had never seen Mother Elias lose her patience in anything, nor lose that perfect equanimity which she possessed to such an eminent degree. She was of a rare humility, but it in no way harmed the dignity of her speech and of her whole bearing. She had great discernment of spirits, a pleasant way of talking, and an enchanting smile. Her voice alone sufficed to inspire people from outside who came to speak to her. She was not only a perfect Carmelite but a perfect Prioress.(Auto bio p.83)

Mother Elias - A Caring Mother

Listen to Mother Veronica as she relates how sensitively and prudently Mother Elias dealt with sisters at the Chapter: "She knew to criticize faults and correct them without weakness, without harshness, later if she thought she had caused pain, she came in search of the sister to do her a small kindness, to speak a word to her, which restored peace to the heart and one wondered: What a Mother the good God has given ... Her memory is still alive among all those who knew her as an incomparable Mother... I did not need a Director besides Mother Elias." (Auto bio p.84)

Mother Veronica - Clothed in Carmelite Habit

A little over a fortnight after her arrival to the Carmel of Pau, on 2 July , the feast of the Visitation, Mother Veronica was given the holy habit during a simple ceremony. She records her spiritual experience: "I received great graces. I was, as it were, beside myself with joy and for several days afterwards I kept the intellectual presence of Our Lord beside me, who spoke to me and directed me in everything, as if I saw Him." St Teresa speaks of this grace as one of the greatest that a soul may receive.(Auto bio p.85)

Spiritual Blessings

Mother Veronica had experienced great spiritual graces during her first days of her entry into St. Joseph's. Now in Carmel, the Lord heaped her with spiritual delight: "Prayer was my joy. I had almost no distractions. Sweet tears flooded me. The holy office was my happiness. My attraction for penances became stronger than ever. It was like a second spiritual childhood." She confided in Mother Elias all her spiritual experiences. (Auto bio p.85)

Relishing the Vocation to Carmel

On receiving the Carmelite habit Mother Veronica experienced expressible joy. Her health began to improve; and she observed the whole rule without difficulty: "As for me I clung more and more to my holy vocation... The austerities of Carmel were a delight to me. Silence, solitude, fasts, abstinence, and vigils- all were easy to me. Still more I took delight in them. I said to Mother Elias," Mother, do you believe that I have the spirit of Carmel?" "Yes, my daughter, I believe." (Auto bio p.89)

Blend of Life - Carmel and Apostolic

Mother Veronica had been so happy doing works of charity as a Sister of St. Joseph, and now the life of Carmel had replaced it completely! She writes, "I myself was astonished at the two vocations so markedly different, and when I thought that soon I would have to uproot myself from this paradise and return to the world to work at the foundation of the Third Order, my heart was torn." (Auto bio p.89)

Cross - The Portion of Mother Veronica's Life

On the feast of our Lady of Dolours in September, Mother Veronica made her Profession in the Carmel of Pau, with all the ceremonies of the Great Carmel; when she prostrated herself in the form of a cross on the carpet in the middle of the choir, Sister Mary of Jesus crucified who was present saw a great cross which hovered over her. Mother Veronica says, "Henceforward the holy cross was to be my portion." (Auto bio p.90)

Constitutions

Mother Elias asked her to draw up the Constitutions for the new Order Regular for the missions. She writes: "I did it on the model of those of St. Teresa while modifying and curtailing what was not proper to external works. They would have to say the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin instead of Divine Office. Fasts and abstinences were also modified." (Auto bio p.90)

Obedience

It was the month of December, everything was covered with snow, Mother Elias in spite of the affection she had for Mother Veronica pressed her to leave because she feared that the former should fail in obedience she owed to Father General who desired that this foundation be made without delay. Mother Veronica says: "I begged her to permit me to spend the feast of Christmas at Pau and set out afterwards, for to leave this dear Carmel when I had scarcely tasted the happiness of this heavenly life which was my delight, pierced me to the heart. But it was necessary to obey and come back into the midst of the world and all alone." (Auto bio p.91)

In Search of a Place for New Foundation

Mother Veronica, wearing her Carmelite habit under a black skirt, a big mantle and an old hat over a long black veil left the Carmel of Pau on the 15 December 1867 alone. Her attire appeared to be that of an adventuress. Her only consolation was the Carmelite habit she wore. She writes: "My attraction, my vocation, was all for the dear Carmel, and God knows the immense sacrifice that I made while leaving it, but only for a time, for I had Mother Elias promise that when I had done the work that obedience to my superiors of the Order demanded from me, I would be again received into the Carmel of Pau. (Auto bio p.91)

Significance of the Third Order Regular

In the Carmel of Pau, Mother Veronica made a retreat before her profession; during this time she was shown a globe which was not complete. She says: "It lacked a big slice and I was told that this was the Third Order Regular which did not exist in Carmel." (Auto bio p.92)

Bishop's Refusal at Annecy

Bishop of Annecy denied the permission to begin the foundation at Annecy, but he suggested, if Mother Veronica desired, he would permit her to begin the foundation in a small town called La Roche; a distance of six hours from Annecy. She with a heavy heart went there to spend the Christmas. She recalls: "On Christmas day, as I was praying in the church which deserted and nightfall, I found myself as it were in a desert, quite barren, with a big cross set up in front of me, to which I clung as my only support." (Auto bio p.93)

Life at La Roche

In this small lonely place at La Roche, Mother Veronica lived in a rented apartment where she would be receiving some candidates. Some people in charity sent dinner cooked for her. One of them was Mme de Polinge. Here she wore the Carmelite dress, attended mass at Capuchin Fathers and observed the Carmelite rule as much as possible. She stayed there five months without being able to obtain anything for the foundation. She received no reply to her letters from Father General. She states: "My only consolation in the complete solitude in which I lived was to write to my beloved Mother Elias who encouraged and sustained me by her affection and advice." (Auto bio p.94)

Deceptions and Rejections

Mother Veronica went through many a Carmelite houses but none showed any interest in her work except Father Athanasius at Bordeaux. "I was tired of rushing about and finding deceptions everywhere... not finding any sympathy from the Fathers whom I loved so much and for whom I had sacrificed my vocation, the happiness of my life." (Auto bio p.97)

Return of the Carmel of Pau

Sad discouraged and heart broken, Mother Veronica retuned to the Carmel of Pau. She longed for welcoming faces: "I was sure of finding friendly people again." Sure enough she recounts: "It was mother Elias who comforted me and gave me all the possible recommendations for the Carmelites of Bayonne and made me leave for that town at the beginning of June 1868. I cannot express the oppression of heart that I felt in leaving once again my Carmel of Pau." (Auto bio p.99)

Bayonne - God's Choice

At Mother Elias' persistence, Mother Veronica left for Bayonne to make a final try for the foundation of the Third Order Regular. She recollects her amazing experience of going to Bayonne: "As I was approaching Bayonne, a heavy weight seemed to be lifted from me. I could not understand anything and I went straight to the Carmel where the good saintly Mother Dosithea received me with all affection possible and made the whole community assemble to receive me. I felt at home and they told me that I could have their temporary house for 500 francs per year." (Auto bio p.99)

Pace and Joy, Courage and Strength

Although the house to be rented was definitely not in a good condition, however, Mother Veronica here records her inner experience: "On entering the courtyard I felt that it was there that I had to start the work. Joy and peace filled my desolate heart and a new courage to work for the glory of God and the good of our holy Order in the missions of India, gave me the strength which for some time I had lacked totally." (Auto bio p.99)

Numerous Blessings of God

Monsignor La Croix, Bishop of Bayonne who, was well- disposed to new foundations, received Mother Veronica with a most paternal kindness. He gave her all that she could desire; the permission to establish a Third Order in the temporary house of the Carmelites, to receive candidates, to make the necessary repairs to settle a new community which would have the episcopal enclosure etc. He also gave her the permission to enter the enclosure of the Carmel of Pau while repairs were completed. Mother Elias was so happy to see her again who received her with open arms. The home coming was such a joyful experience, Mother Veronica states: "It seemed as though she could not do enough to show her affection and her charity." (Auto bio p.99-100)

Generosity of Mother Elias

Mother Veronica stayed in the Camel of Pau community for a month. Once again, we notice the generosity and concern of Mother Elias; she prepared all that she could give away from the sacristy, from the hermitages etc. for the new foundation at Bayonne. Two postulants from Nimes whom Mother Veronica met earlier were to arrive on the eve of the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel; she left Pau for Bayonne to receive them. (Auto bio p.104)

Foundation Day

The Carmelite community of Bayonne received Mother Veronica with the greatest cordiality. One of the first two Postulants who arrived on 14 July, 1868, was Sister Agnes. The three of them took possession of their new house after the High Mass at Carmel on the feast of our Lady of Mount Carmel. Monsignor La Croix appointed Abbe‘ Inchauspe, as the superior and confessor of their little community. Mother Veronica pens: "Abbe' Inchauspe' has been a real father. His charity, his devotion to us and to the work entrusted to my care, was without limit." (Auto bio p.105)

The Blessed Sacrament

At Bayonne it was the very old house made new for them to live. When the repairs for the chapel were completed, in that charming chapel, Monsignor La Croix placed the Blessed Sacrament there and demarcated the episcopal cloister in the little convent. This was the greatest happiness of Mother Veronica (Auto bio p.106)

Life of Perfection

The General Father Dominic of the Carmelites paid a visit to them on 1 September, 1868. Mother Veronica gave a detailed account of all events of the Third Order and he revised with her the Constitutions that she had drafted. He approved them and was interested in everything. He with most paternal goodness visited the entire convent, blessed the first five novices and postulants there. He spoke to them and recommended to them aspire to strive after perfection, they who are the foundation stones of an edifice. (Auto bio p.109)

AC's in Indian Soil

The first batch of Sisters who came to India was six Sisters from the Carmel of Pau. Three sisters of the Apostolic Carmel along with Fathers Lazare and Gratian left Pau on the 19th of August 1870. And on 5 November of the same year Mother Elias died at Calicut in the convent of the Sisters of St. Joseph, in the same house which Mother Veronica had founded about nine years before. Some months later two more Sisters of the Apostolic Carmel, Sister Agnes of Jesus and Sister Cecile of Infant Jesus joined the Mangalore community (Auto bio p.116)

Joyful Community

In Mangalore, Monsignor Marie Ephrem nominated Mother Agnes Prioress of the little community. Father Lazare was their Superior. They began to teach in school, there was peace and union among them. Mother Veronica says, "I was quite consoled to hear even from Monsignor that he was very happy with my children. (Auto bio p.116)

Disharmony

Unfortunately that peaceful harmonious life did not last long. The amalgamation of the Sisters of St. Joseph with the Third Order (AC) by Monsignor Marie Ephrem, created chaos and confusion. He made them only change their habit and then without a novitiate, without forming them to the life and the spirit of Carmel, to which Mother Veronica's daughters were used to, he gave them authority over them, and even made these sisters supervise Mother Agnes and her religious. The poor Third Order sapped to its foundations. (Auto bio p.117)

The First Blow at the AC Sapling

Mother Agnes the Prioress unable to animate in such bizarre situation represented her difficulties to Monsignor. She wrote a letter dictated by Father Lazare that in those unusual circumstances the Third Order Regular could not exist. She tendered her resignation. Monsignor not only accepted it immediately but also nominated Sister Marie Des Anges as Prioress. Soon after he sent Mother Agnes back to France and relieved Father Lazare of his duties of Vicar General and sent him to Mahe. (Auto bio p.117)

31 May, 2023

It was the envious nature of the novice mistress, Sister of the Infant Jesus caused the deportation of Sister Mary of Jesus, back to France, in the pretext that she was guided by the Spirit of Satan. They treated her in the most undeserved manner, and the cruel. They influenced Monsignor Marie Ephrem against her and were sent back ignominiously to Pau in the company of Sister Marie Alphonse and Sister Cecile. Before her departure Mary of Jesus Crucified predicted the death of Bishop Marie Ephrem. Before six months had passed, on Maundy Thursday, Monsignor died in Mangalore almost suddenly and alone (Auto bio p.119)

Benevolence

Madame Gil Moreno de Mora who had lost her husband, came to spend some time at Bayonne because of the ill health of her son Pedro. Here she came to know about Mother Veronica and a very poor little community by the side of the Carmel. She donated 25 Francs as her first gift. Mother Veronica says, "I shall never forget the impression made on me by this lady in great mourning." (Auto bio. p121.)

Friendship

Describing Madame Gil Moreno de Mora, Mother Veronica writes, "She was perfectly distinguished, and could not speak without melting into tears - so much was she overcome with grief at all the loses she had suffered recently. From the first interview a friendship started between our two hearts which God alone brings to birth and which never ceases. She told me her sorrows and I wept with her." (Auto bio. p121.)

Bounteousness

Madame Gil Moreno de Mora was a pious lady. Charity was her predominant virtue. Mother Veronica notes: Madam Gil gave and always gave, that was her happiness, and in giving it was always she who was obliged and not those who received her bounty. Mother Veronica writes that this dear lady never came to see me without leaving some alms, which was at least 25 francs. (Auto bio. p121.)

Benefactress

Madame Gil perceived that the Little Carmel had nothing, not even little room for fresh air. Their garden was only 10 meters wide. Adjacent to their convent there was a big and beautiful field which belonged to the Carmel that was rented out to a farmer. She was hard-pressed for money then. However, one day she came to Mother Veronica with some of her jewelry boxes, containing a magnificent crucifix and diamond rings. She sold them in order to buy the field and build the wall of the enclosure. (Auto bio. p121.)

Love and Care

The next concern of Madame Gil was to build a hermitage in honour of the Sacred Heart, a dainty little Gothic chapel with stained glass windows. She also erected a beautiful statue of the Sacred Heart in a niche above the altar. They planted many fruit trees and vines in the new field. Vegetables were grown in abundance. Madame Gil, sensing the scarcity of water, got a well dug for irrigation. (Auto bio. p122.)

Boundless Love

Madame Gil Moreno de Mora perceiving the poverty of the Little Carmel extended her help to furnish the sacristy and equip it with several chasubles embroidered by her hands and a beautiful cope, with a silver clasp embroidered by her. She supplied beautiful bouquets for the altar and finally to Mother Veronica a voyage to England which she was obliged to make to see her aged mother who died soon after. In Mother Veronica's absence she bought a cow and installed it in a little stable at the corner of the new property. She wanted to give her this pleasant surprise on her return. (Auto bio. p123.)

Impasse

After the return of Mother Agnes and Cecil to Bayonne, the affairs of the Third Order were going on badly. Sister Mary Joseph died in Cannanore. Sister Elias was at Cannanore, under obedience to a Sister of St. Joseph who was dressed up in AC habit without a novitiate. Sister Elias suffered unspeakably. Mother Marie des Anges remained in Mangalore, the only European. Monsignor Marie Ephrem was dead. Mother Veronica writes: "I was firmly resolved not to send any more subjects to that mission where my poor children suffered so cruelly. (Auto bio. p123.)

Absence of Joy and Grace

Mother Veronica relates to us the state of affairs of her little community at Bayonne. She felt her happy community failed to radiate the same grace of the first years. There wasn't that union, that gaiety in their poverty, that cordial affection and that charity which reigned formerly no more existed. "I must say to my great regret I treated my poor children very harshly which estranged them from me, at least some of them." (Auto bio. p126.)

All was Swept off

Mary of Jesus Crucified had made someone write to Mother Veronica "that all would be swept off." Her words came true. The dissolution of the poor little Apostolic Carmel took place in October 1873. The situation worsened day by day. They had no resources except what Madame Gil gave them. The community was reduced to eight. It was finally decided that when Mother Veronica would dispose of her daughters, she could return to the Carmel of Pau not to leave again. (Auto bio. p128.)

The End of Little Carmel

The last days in Bayonne were agonizing for Mother Veronica and her daughters who were left to her. She disposed of them as best as she could. One joined the Ursulines at Pau, another went to the Carmel of Bayonne, others returned to their families. Sister Cecile went with her to the Carmel of Pau but could not keep to the rule. She was ill, and later she also returned to her family. (Auto bio. p128.)

Amidst the Black Clouds - A Ray of Light

Let us have a final look at the scenario at the Little Carmel at Bayonne. We feel with our Foundress her devastating sorrow, pain and dejection. I quote her agonizingly painful words: At Bayonne everybody turned against me. The Carmelites who had been always so charitable towards our little community turned against us, as well as Abbe' Inchauspe', who did not want to do anything with us anymore. Abbe' Manaudas the confessor advised me to finish up as best I could. Monsignor La Croix was of the same opinion. Our Only friend who remained faithful in all these vexations was Madame Gil. Oh No! Never will I be able to express all that I owe this saintly charitable lady. (Auto bio. p128.)

A Faithful Friend

Madam Gil gave quite a considerable sum of money when Mother Veronica left for Carmel of Pau. She sent the packers to spare the fatigue and the sorrow of Mother Veronica, took charge of all the expenditure to shift things that could be taken to Pau; and personally supervised the workers and paid the railway freight. Mother Veronica says, "I was broken in body and soul." (Auto bio. p128.)

Deaths Knell of Little Carmel

The final and the most heartbreaking act to perform was the last Mass and consume the sacred species, writes Mother Veronica. We take note of Madame Gil's support to the finish. She came with her son Pedro, His tutor (Priest) to celebrate the last Eucharist; it was offered in the novitiate served by Pedro. After which the little convent remained empty. Mother Veronica declares: "Jesus was not there anymore and I could not remain there any longer." (Auto bio. p129.)

Empathy with Desolate Heart

That same evening Madame Gil took to her house, Mother Veronica and three other sisters left with her. Others were already disposed. She could not say good bye to anyone not even to Monsignor nor to Abbe' Manaudas as they were at the major Seminary attending a priest's retreat. She was filled with gratitude to Madame Gil for her tenderness and delicate charity in these heart- breaking moments. (Auto bio. p129.)

Anguish of Heart

The foundress was obliged to take away the holy habit from her daughters. Monsignor La Croix had relieved them from their vows. The Foundress laments: "I could see this community which had cost me so much, being destroyed. Those who were leaving were desolate. My heart suffered so much that it seemed to become insensate. One had to have a very special grace not to succumb under it, and God gave that grace to me." (Auto bio. p129.)

Closure of the Foundation House

It was 10 October 1873, an unforgettable day to the ACs, one of the saddest days marked in the annals of the Apostolic Carmel. As Mary of Jesus Crucified predicted now, "All was swept off." Mother Veronica lived in the foundation house a little over five years. She and the three Sisters spend the night with Madame Gil in Bayonne, and the following morning they left by train to Pau. Mother Veronica re-entered for good, her dear Carmel of Pau. (Auto bio. p130.)

Second Noviciate at Carmel of Pau

Mother Veronica was already 50 years old when she re-entered to begin her second novitiate under a very different condition than from the first time. The Prioress Mother Marie of the Immaculate Conception received her with open arms, and the community showered affection and sympathy to console her in her sufferings and the heartbreak which she had borne in the last days at Bayonne. Her health steadily improved. She observed all the austerities of Carmel. She expresses inner happiness: "My soul flew to the perfection prescribed by our Holy Rule without my feeling the least weight." (Auto bio. p131.)

Mother Veronica - Renamed

On Mother Veronica's return to Pau, her beloved Carmel, Mary of Jesus Crucified showed her every sign of affection. One day while she was in ecstasy she sent for Mother Veronica and reveled God's will for her. While in rapture said to Mother, "The Lord wishes that you be called Sister Marie Therese of Jesus and no more Veronica of the Passion... Be always very little, very little for there is always place for little ones." (Auto bio. p131.)

Broken Down in Health

After few days of her arrival at Pau, in a quiet ceremony Mother Veronica was given the white veil. She continued to wear the Carmelite habit given to her on 2nd July 1868. She was completely ruined of health at Bayonne She had contracted rheumatism, which affected her right side; she could not bend her right knee without feeling intolerable shooting pains. She had difficulty in kneeling down. She was received in the Carmel as benefactress because she was incapable of keeping the rule. (Auto bio. p132.)

Obedience to the Will of God

From childhood Mother Veronica was accustomed to take a cup of tea in the English way which she loved, especially when she was suffering and disgusted with nourishment. A cup of tea revived her. The prioress Mother Marie exempted her from abstinence and permitted her in this practice. Some days later, Sister Mary of Jesus crucified avoided Mother Veronica and did not wish to speak to her. When she asked for the reason, Sister Mary said to her "Our Lord said to me that you should not have tea anymore and I avoided you because I did not want to tell it to you. You are ill, and I feared that it would give you pain to deprive you of tea." Mother Veronica responded: "... Jesus will give me the grace to take anything else and I promise you that I will never have it again." (Auto bio. p133.)

Poverty and Detachment

Mother Veronica writes that many times Sister Mary of Jesus had knowledge of what Mother did and said, and even of what she thought, through lights which could only be supernatural. She relates of an incident which Mother Veronica had spoken to her novice mistress and no one had any knowledge of it. "One day during recreation she got into ecstasy and said many delightful things. After recreation she withdrew herself and made a sign to mother Veronica to follow her to her cell with their prioress and there she told me that I should not think of disposing of what I had brought, for all belonged to God and not to me, and that I should remain in complete indifference and poverty. (Auto bio. p133.)

Proposal for New Foundation at Bethlehem

Since Mother Veronica's return to Pau, there was always talk of the foundation of a Carmel of Bethlehem where Sister Mary of Jesus had already predicted she would die. Mother Veronica was chosen to be one of the pioneers with Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified. At the request of Mother Veronica, initially Madame Gil donated 12000 francs with which Mother Marie paid the necessary travelling expenses of I'Abbe' Bordachar to Rome to see to the affairs of the foundation and give some amount to Propaganda that would help to get the Sacred Congregation interested in favour of Carmel. Madam Gil was the first benefactress of the Carmel of Bethlehem for Mlle Dartigaux had not yet given anything for this work. (Auto bio. p137)

Blessings

At the end of the second year Mother Veronica was admitted to profession by omitting the words "Without mitigation" in the formula of vows. She asked for a favour from St. Teresa, if she wanted her as her daughter, to be able to kneel down make her profession, this favour was granted to her. She made her solemn profession on 21 November 1874 in the hands of Mother Marie of the Immaculate Conception. "After the ceremony I went up to the choir... near the little communion grill I could remain on my knees without trouble for a long time before the Blessed Sacrament exposed. I was filled with graces and joy." (Auto bio. p137- 138)

Death of Mrs. Leeves

Mother Veronica received the news of her ailing mother of eighty years from Catherine. A protestant sister of Mercy looked after her. On 12 December 1874, a little before 5 o'clock in the evening Mother Veronica went to the cell of her Mistress of Novices to speak of the illness of her mother. Sister Mary of Jesus happened to arrive there. She said to Mother Veronica, "Your Mother is dead, but her faith saved her." Mother Veronica says, "I recommend my poor mother to God and I felt an interior assurance that she was in purgatory. Two days later I received a letter from Catherine telling me that my mother had died on 12 December, a little before 5 o'clock in the evening.." (Auto bio. p 138)

Inheritance

Mrs. Leeves had made a will before her death. When it was opened, they found that she had left nothing to Sophie and Mary Ann except, that she could not prevent them from having, what they had inherited from their father, a sum of nearly 40,000 francs. But the wealth that belonged to her, she had left for her niece Miss Maria Haultain, after the death of their sister Catherine. Mother Veronica handed over this amount to Mother Marie. Mother Veronica's desire was that this amount could be used to build the church of the Carmel of Bethlehem to make some reparation. (Auto bio. p 138)</